Hey America,
Welcome back! I am sorry I haven't blogged in over a week. My life suddenly exploded with busyness and because I am so committed to staying on track something had to give. So here is a quick recap over the last couple of weeks of my weight-loss journey. When I finished my last blog I was on cloud nine. I had just lost a significant amount of weight from the previous week and was feeling unstoppable. Everything was going great until it happened...
It came out of nowhere, like a torrential downpour in the Nairobi dessert. It blindsided me and knocked the wind right out of my ADORABLE pink sails.
If you have ever had to take on a serious weight-loss goal like I have and have failed as many times as me you probably already know what IT is. It was the inevitable stall out. Meaning, my progress that was all high-fives and handshakes suddenly stopped. My weight-loss completely halted and since I don't believe in doing anything half way I actually gained 3 pounds. I have never wanted to punch someone in the face so hard in my life. Even better, the weight-loss came on in one day and I had been keeping myself fully on track. Let us get real for a second, there is nothing more defeating then when you have been working so hard for something and see negative results. This past Monday as I was swimming at the gym with my husband I looked at him and told him that this was the moment. He looked at me and knew what I was about to say before I even said it. I was ready to put my gym shoes back away for another 18 months and "lose" my gym membership card again. I was ready to buy a bag of chips or a tub of spread cheese as a gateway back to bad habits. I was ready to get really "busy" with life and not have time to eat healthy and slowly slope back into failure.
I was ready to quit.
In my 30 years of existing I have made a secret career of quitting. If quitting could be on a resume I would probably be the most qualified quitter on the planet. I have quit or not even attempted so many things in my life because there was a slight possibility of failure. I remember that lame poster that was on every math teacher's wall growing up that says "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." and made that my quitter's anthem. I loved twisting that saying around to my favor. Yea, I miss 100% of the shots and 100% of the failure and rejection. I HATE rejection and failure. I hate it almost more than I hate throwing up. I would rather not even try something than face the slightest possibility of failure and pain. That is part of why I didn't even want to restart this spectacularly sarcastic blog. I didn't want to fail and then have to face everyone who was rooting for me again. I am the queen of self sabotage. The way I see it is if I can disappoint myself then I don't have to deal with another person hurting me again. I can let myself down easy. Don't believe that I am a career quitter? Let's revisit some of my most epic moments of QuitterHood that I have accomplished.
1. The Clarinet: I quit that because the guy I had a crush on in band started dating someone else and didn't see a need to keep putting in the work for that.
2. Theatre: I stopped auditioning for plays in high school (Because I figured I was never going to be chosen because of my size and my skin-tone didn't always compliment the lead roles) I would just offer to be the stage manager or assistant director instead.
3. I have quit MULTIPLE diets because they stopped working or got to hard and wasn't fun anymore.
4. I quit watching Glee because the plot wasn't going down the way I wanted.
5. I have quit writing 3 different books in the fear that after putting in so much tremendous work that it would inevitably end in rejection.
6. I quit singing. I used to sing a lot when I was younger and stopped because my sister was superior to my talent and I didn't want to live in her shadow.
7. I quit friendships. I do this often, more than I would like to admit. Rather than work through the pain that someone has caused me I would rather just move on alone than revisit the issues between us.
8. I have quit jobs. When I have had a job where there seemed to be opposition with a superior I would start looking for new employment so that I wouldn't have to work with a difficult person.
9. I quit college. When I was in college I was doing really well and enjoyed it but quit because I didn't think I would actually amount to anything after graduation.
10. I have quit many things before I have even started them, like kale...
So now that we have established that I AM indeed the queen of quitting I will tell you what happened after I told Jon that I was ready to hang it up again. I was ready to see other people living their dreams while I drown in the sorrow of my unrealized ones. I was ready to start putting weight back on without even realizing it. I was ready to stop weighing myself rather than be pimp-slapped by my scale every morning. I was ready to let my girls down and not be the energetic mom they have grown to love. I was ready to start slacking in my appearance. I was ready to stop caring about myself and give up on all the dreams that are sometimes so big I can hardly breath. I was ready to lose because the thought of winning seemed absolutely impossible. How can you fight in a war where you keep losing every battle? So here is what happened.
I kept going.
Life tried to suffocate me with every possible road block this week and I kept fighting back. I still went swimming. I still took long walks with my kids even though every part of my body screamed "GIVE UP! JUST QUIT! YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THIS!" I still kept eating healthy. Each morning I would step on the scale and see absolute disappointment and I still kept going. I was exhausted and exasperated with my negative results. I didn't want to write a blog and have to report a negative in my weight-loss. I pushed until I could push no more and then pushed harder. I avoided bad habits and did the work even without results.
On Thursday, something changed. I stepped on the scale and for the first time in a week I was back to the weight that I was before I had re-gained.
I beat it.
I beat the biggest opponent that I have ever had to face, myself. I beat myself. I won the battle against my willpower and came out stronger. I kept going and survived. I met with my nutritionist on Thursday and was given a great report and she said that I have lost 13 pounds since seeing her 1 month prior. I also did something else this week that I NEVER would've attempted in the past. This week I decided to enter myself into a competition with The Today Show. They are looking for the next big beauty blogger and I decided to compete. They are looking for people who will be the next big digital stars of youtube, vine, and instagram. So if you are interested in that you can check out my youtube channel and subscribe to stay informed on that journey. I know it's an insane longshot and I really didn't see a need to audition because there are probably millions of people auditioning who are way cooler than me.
I almost didn't do it but then I remembered,
https://www.youtube.com/c/JustLikeDrewChannel
Stay Sexy America
Be true to you.
With Love,
Drew (AKA Quit Master C)
Current Weight lost: 56 magical pounds
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